Dimensions:7.7in x 5.7 x 0.4 in | 140 gr
Page Count:112 pages
Therese Estacion survived a rare infection that nearly killed her, but not without losing both her legs below the knees, several fingers, and reproductive organs. Phantompains is a visceral, imaginative collection exploring disability, grief and life by interweaving stark memories with dreamlike surrealism.
Taking inspiration from Filipino horror and folk tales, Estacion incorporates some Visayan language into her work, telling stories of mermen, gnomes, and ogres that haunt childhood stories of the Philippines and, then, imaginings in her hospital room, where she spent months recovering after her operations.
Estacion says she wrote these poems out of necessity: an essential task to deal with the trauma of hospitalization and what followed. Now, they are demonstrations of the power of our imaginations to provide catharsis, preserve memory, rebel and even to find self-love.
Therese Estacion is part of the Visayan diaspora community. She spent her childhood between Cebu and Gihulngan, two distinct islands found in the archipelago named by its colonizers as the Philippines, before she moved to Canada with her family when she was ten years old. She is an elementary school teacher and is currently studying to be a psychotherapist. Therese is also a bilateral below knee and partial hands amputee, and identifies as a disabled person/person with a disability. Therese lives in Toronto. Her poems have been published in CV2 and PANK Magazine, and shortlisted for the Marina Nemat Award. Phantompains is her first book.
"Therese Estacion battled back from terrible loss, rediscovered herself through poetry and just published one of the best collections of the year." —Toronto Star
"Phantompains, is unique in its topic and content. I can’t think of anyone who has written poetry around a life-threatening infection, or around a hysterectomy that resulted from it. And I certainly can’t think of anyone who’s written so openly about the hell that is amputation… Amputees often need to fight to be seen, and ableism is a real issue that needs to be openly discussed. Therese Estacion’s Phantompains gets to the heart of all of these issues with a poet’s deft touch and skill. It’s a brilliant debut book of poems, and I’m looking forward to seeing what comes next." —periodicities
"Phantompains is a text of rare power, birthing a brave new world flush with pain, lust, drugs and the uterus. Estacion's 'Eunuched Female' is a masterpiece: utterly indelible." —Tamara Faith Berger, author of Queen Solomon
"I love Therese Estacion's book. I love its humour, clarity, irreverence, and rage. It's not a book about triumph (though she has triumphed), or perseverance (though she has persevered), or courage (though she has it). To me, it is a book about vision and reckoning, descent and return. Therese Estacion plunged into an abyss—found suffering, dehumanization, terror—and when she emerged, she chose to make radically confrontational art. Phantompains is the cosmic result of her dwelling, and her passage. In her words, "she became the subject"—I think she also became the seer." —Sara Peters, author of I Become a Delight to My Enemies
"Documenting her experience through the lyric, Estacion’s book-length poem aches to understand what it is she has lost, and how to wrestle her way to how best to move forward, fully aware that the shadow of these losses might never fully disappear. The upending trauma and loss Estacion articulates in the opening sequence, as well as throughout the book, is palpable, powerful and unmistakable." —rob mclennan’s blog
"Estacion writes playful and visceral poems that really showcase the range of experience of someone in pain… Ultimately, Phantompainsis a funny and sensory book and an excellent addition to a growing list of excellent books by disabled writers in Canada. —Arc Poetry Magazine