“In the fairy tales about father-daughter incest—’The Girl Without Hands,’ ’Thousand Furs,’ the original ’Cinderella,’ ’Donkey Skin,’ and the stories of Saint Dymphna, patron saint of incest survivor—the daughters are all as you would expect them to be, horrified by their father’s sexual advances. They do everything in their power to escape. But I didn’t. A little child can’t escape. And later, when I could, it was too late.”
Throughout her childhood and adolescence, the anonymous author of The Incest Diary was raped by her father. Beneath a veneer of normal family life, she grew up in and around this all-encompassing secret. Her sexual relationship with her father lasted, off and on, into her twenties. It formed her world, and it formed her deepest fears and desires. Even after she broke away—even as she grew into an independent and adventurous young woman—she continued to seek out new versions of the violence, submission, and secrecy she had struggled to leave behind.
In this graphic and harrowing memoir, the author revisits her early traumas and their aftermath—not from a clinical distance, but from deep within—to explore the ways in which her father’s abuse shaped her, and still does. As a matter of psychic survival, she became both a sexual object and a detached observer, a dutiful daughter and the protector of a dirty secret. And then, years later, she made herself write it down.
With lyric concision, in vignettes of almost unbearable intensity, this writer tells a story that is shocking but that will ring true to many other survivors of abuse. It has never been faced so directly on the page.
VIVID PROSE: As shocking and horrific as this material can be, the author writes with control, intelligence, and economy. There are no wasted words.
FOR SURVIVORS: This is a book for other survivors—for anyone who wants to understand the impact of sexual abuse from a survivor’s point of view.
BREAKS THE SILENCE: Although it is well documented that victims of sexual abuse often form erotic attachments to their abusers—and that many seek out abusive situations later in life—it is rare for a survivor to write graphically about her own sexual (and even pornographic) feelings, and about the guilt and damage that surrounds them.